Simple! Write this!:
"Here's what I will do if voted Honorary G-Force Captain.
The morning of January 12th, I will wake up at the crack of
dawn and watch my Favre DVD for courage. Halfway through, manly tears will pool
in my eyes and I will feel goodwill towards all humanity. To recover, I'll make
an omelet.
I'll brush my teeth with Sensodyne. Having no Bowflex, I'll
take a jog in the woods behind my parents' house just north of Green Bay. Snow will lightly fall. I'll remember the Snow Bowl, and Alphonso
Carreker, and the thrill my nine-year-old self felt watching grown men on TV
slip and slide in the snow like kids. I'll wish Alphonso well, wherever he is.
Back inside, I'll shower with green and gold soaps. I'll
shave thoroughly and put on a tasteful Packers tie. I'll carefully de-lint my
well-loved Packers cap. I'll consider polishing my duck boots.
Once my younger brother wakes up, he will help me prepare
for the handshaking I might have to do. He will agree to this because he is
getting the second ticket. We will try different degrees of grip pressure and
various ways of seeming casual in the presence of Barnett and Favre. We will
work on a cool wave to acknowledge the crowd if necessary. I'll pinch
myself to see if I am dreaming.
Before we drive to the stadium, I'll take an hour to write a
post for the Packers blog I run with a friend. I'll recall shaking Tony
Mandarich's hand at church. I'll remember where I was (on Mason Street, driving past the Toys R'
Us) when the radio said Reggie White was coming to Green Bay. I'll write something sentimental
but true about how proud I am to be from a little city known and loved all over
the world, to have great athletes and good men like Favre and Driver and
Kampman to cheer for. I'll feel thankful once more for the unexpected joy this
year's team has brought me.
On the drive south on 41, my brother and I will get psyched.
We will listen to Every Rose Has Its Thorn, the Majkowski bootleg. We will
listen to recordings of Larry McCarren barking 'YES!" on the pre-game
show. We'll meet up with some friends and have a beer and butter burger at
Kroll's before the game.
Then we'll get our tickets, find our seats, two guys with
big eyebrows and foot warmers in our boots. We'll look up into the stands,
breathe the magic in. And if it is meant to be that I stand on the field as the
lucky representative of Packer Nation, I'll wait for Favre to call heads and
like everybody else I'll watch the coin twirl and rise and wish it so."
Simple! Write this!:
Recent Comments