The Fontenot

Better to Just Pretend That Didn't Happen!

Why not?  It's been a long time since the Packers have been far enough out in front of the NFC that a ridiculous loss to a pretty bad team is relatively inconsequential.  Would it have been nice to sneak in front of Dallas at the end of the season?  Sure.  But then again, maybe Favre's better off playing in Dallas then the bad-weather of Lambeau come late January.

Happy Holidays.  I'm off to absorb the mocking commentary of my girlfriend's father for several hours.  I'll make regular stops in the bathroom to close my eyes and dream of playoffs victories against Tampa Bay come the second week of January.

You're So Money and You Don't Even Know It

Managing to drive home up Lakeshore without once closing my eyes and replaying, oh, I don't know, an 82-yard touchdown pass from Brett Favre to Greg Jennings, it occurred to me that week-in and week-out, it is virtually impossible to predict what this team will look like, and yet still, with all the flux in personnel, approach, and execution, they just win.  And so again they found a new way to win--in terms of this game, when I say "found" and "way", I am emphasizing both words.  One of the NFL's worst rushing attacks patched together their second 100 + yard outing, led by well-known NFL superstar Ryan Grant, acquired in a blockbuster trade at the beginning of the season, against a ferocious run-stuffing Denver defense ranked dead last in the NFL.  DeShawn Wynn contributed a respectable 1 yard.  And while the real story seems to be about those two divine, transcendental, lusty bombs sailing through the thin Denver oxygen, heaved by the Old Man, caught by the Young Men, it's hard not to see a few 7-yard runs here and there as an important omen, shitty run defense or no shitty run defense.  It's true, though: the Old Man came out with a chip on his shoulder this week about being The Old Man with the withered little arm.  Usually when he has a chip on his shoulder, he throws 17 interceptions in one quarter.  Yet tonight, surprise surprise, he didn't, and they won.

Greg Jennings on Favre's arm, after the game: "He's 70 years old and overthrowing us in practice -- a lot."  That Jennings.  I figure now is as good a time as any to try out ESPN's version of YouTubesteak.  What a fine young man.

There was more solid Green Bay Packer comedy, too.  I hope you heard Tauscher introduce Brett Favre when the game got rolling.  In case you missed it, he said:  "And of course at quarterback, Vinny Testaverde's dad, Brett Favre."

In a game that was (at least between the two big plays) a game of field position, John Ryan had a monster night:  He punted 4 times and averaged a whopping 52.3 yards per punt.

The ref's injury on the Jones touchdown?  Hammy.  His availability to his crew for next week's game? Listed as "Totally Fucking Irrelevant."

Someone needs to tell Tony Kornheiser that hyperbole requires the additional element of restraint once in awhile to be a successful rhetorical strategy.  With all due respect to Bill Walton, they may as well bring in Bill Walton if they want this much deafening overkill.

Someone needs to tell Vince Vaughn to take some, like, vitamins or something.

I like how in this quote from Champion Bailey, whose ass got torched by big, slow (maybe not so slow?) James Jones, the line between the Packers and Favre blurs, via pronouns:  "Two plays beat us.  They didn’t do anything else to beat us. . . . That’s it. Two plays. If we have position, we can make those plays; we didn’t, so he did."

Could any editor possibly let the syntax of this headline hit the presses?

Jason Elam is working on a book.  It's a thriller called Monday Night Jihad.

Jason Elam is working on a book.  It's a thriller called Monday Night Jihad.

I wrote that twice on purpose, just because it takes twice as long to believe it's true.  I hereby decree the following challenge to Fontenot readers: in the comment section, send in the most appropriate one-liner you can think of to sum up this game in the context of Jason Elam's forthcoming book.

I don't know.

Something like, "Suck on that big fat Axis of Evil, Denver Broncos, lovers of pornography and unholy hedonistic zone-blocking!"

B-B-B-Brian and the Bears

It’s been a glass half-empty kind of week on Chicago sports talk radio. The Cubs, of course, are tanking when it matters most, but more importantly, Da Bearssss, who if I remember correctly were in the Super Bowl last year, are 1-3, and the natives are restless. One call-in show’s been scornfully referring to Brian Griese as Gries-man because he's no better than you know who. Fans have been complaining about the shaky O-line, the disappointing output of Cedric Benson, Muhsin Muhammad's old age. In other words, it’s been a totally awesome week to be a Packer fan living in Chicago.

We should win this one, of course. A 4-0 team should be beating a 1-3 team, especially at home. The semi-optimistic Chicago fans are rallying around the phrase “bounceback week.” Bounceback week! That, and “must-win.” And, sure, Griese’s going to play better this week, now that he’s gotten used to the “speed of the game."

But I don’t see any way our D doesn’t still cause at least three turnovers. Griese will play conservatively at first, is my guess, in an attempt to prove he is smarter than Rex-Lax but when it gets to be crunch time, I see him throwing some stupid balls. I worry a little bit about the long ball hurting us (I clear my throat in your general direction, Mr. Bush) because a team can sometimes generally suck but get lucky on a few long balls and win, especially if their D creates some turnovers. And as banged up as the Bears’ D is, they’re still certainly capable of that. (Beware the tomahawk ball-punch move, Ryan Grant and DeShawn Wynn.)

But the way Favre’s been playing? The zone he’s in now? Considering the big big love Lambeau’s going to bring on Sunday? I don’t see any reason not to feel confident. Packers 31, Bears 17.

A side note: The other half of the Fontenot, the one who is not me, will be at this game, and no, I am not jealous. You know why? I get to watch instant replays! The fridge is close by! I get Madden! (Oh who am I kidding? Sigh.)

 

This Is How We Roll

Question. Can the Packers go 12-4 this year? I mean, I know we should take the season one game at a time, and as I type this I am taking time out to knock on my wooden desk, but why can't we hope for this now? The Broncos, Cowboys, and Panthers will be tough, but against the Vikes, the Lions, the Bears and teams like the Raiders and Rams and Chiefs...running game or not, I like those odds.

Today was not a perfect game but it was, again, enough. Favre played great, again. Except for that first long bomb which he'd probably planned to throw last Wednesday, no matter what, he had his old wizard's touch, and made 344 yards look easy. And, oh yeah, he set one of the all-time QB records, on an audible. And then in the postgame interview kept saying how Marino is better than him, completely sincere. Today Chris Berman said that rooting for Favre is like rooting for America. Bullshit. Favre's better than America.

The D came up big when it needed to (Thanks two times, Atari). And even Big Jon Ryan got to lap up a little bit of the glory, executing the most athletic play I've ever seen by a punter. Now when I watch the Pack I'm starting to expect good things to happen, as I did back in the 90's glory days. The defense has our back. Our receivers and TEs catch what comes to them. Favre is the zone. Now if we can just convince Dorsey Levens to come out of retirement.

What I want to know is what you think it would take for Favre to win the MVP over, say, a Tony Romo or Tom Brady or Peyton Manning this year? Is it even possible, if those teams go 14-2 or 15-1? I'd like to think the voters would get nostalgic and go for Favre if we go 12-4 and he puts up 3,500 yards + and our running game continues to stink as it has. Romo and Brady and Manning have Marion Jones and Maroney and Addai; Favre has guys who are still learning how to take a handoff. (I'm getting way ahead of myself here, now, I realize. But a guy's gotta dream, right? ) If you have a thought, feel free to post it.

Anyhoo, there is joy once again in Mudville. I can't wait to see which crappy QB the Bears line up against us next week. I'm hoping we get to see all three. Griese, then Orton, then Grossman as anti-savior. As the fellow Cheeseheads living in Chicago I watched the game with said today after seeing the Bears/Lions game recap, it's going to be fun to listen to Chicago sports radio this week.

Ahhh...

While I wouldn't go so far as to call yesterday's victory over the Chargers "easy", I think one of the great and somewhat subtle things to emerge from the win is the idea that the Packers are able to play football--be physical, win one-on-one matchups, be better when the opponent is already being good--with the elite talent of this league.  We all remember last year, when everyone was feeling sexy and proud about being almost .500, and then the Patriots and the (gulp) Jets came to Lambeau and dismantled the system.  Those didn't even feel like games--they felt like expositions of gameplans drawn up by the other teams.  Last year the Packers' starters straight-up couldn't roll with the big-time teams.  This year they can.  Something is wrong with San Diego, granted, but whatever it is, it's not enough to smudge the Pack's claim at being a good football team.

A few thoughts...

The O-Line:
I honestly don't understand where the pressure was, even from the Chargers' front 3.  The spread formation did its job and spread the linebackers out on the field.  Burt had plenty of time, and his old legs didn't have to do anything very fancy to let him see the field.  The sack in the 4th quarter, during that debacle of a red-zone encounter, did surprisingly little damage.  Fever didn't try to make anything special happen, and he took the sack.  Maybe he's learned a thing or two after all.

The Defense:
They deserve all the credit they're gonna get throughout the week, all the blubbering from ESPN analysts.  They made some mistakes, as they have every game, but they made plays.  How about John Jolly flying up in the air in front of Philip Rivers to intimidate him out of throwing the ball?  How about that Al Harris getting tough with Lorenzo Neil?  (We appreciated the effort and intent Al, anyway.)  How about that Nick Barnett?  How about that Atari Bigby apparently usually being right where he's supposed to be?  Never mind that A.J. Hawk seems to have become about as effective as Hannibal Navies.  Never mind Jarrett Bush's confusion.  Looking at the defense, it's very easy to think: Yes.  It's enough.

The Receivers:
It's becoming clear that the Packers' top 1-2-3 is a major problem for other defenses.  It's been a long time since there's been that kind of depth in the passing attack.  I'd even go out on a limb and say this group of 3 is, in its way, more dangerous than Walker-Driver-Ferguson was at its best.  They seem savvier.  Jennings and Driver can both score the long touchdowns, we know that, and I'm not so sure James Jones can't.  All three have better-than-average-hands, and most importantly, all three seem to be on the same page as The Old Man.  Those little slants, so long as The Old Man's accuracy stays tight, are almost impossible to defend.  And what did The Old Man say to Jennings in that pile in the endzone, after TD 420?  From a Journal-Sentinel article: "He told me he loved me. That made me feel good, that he loves somebody other than Donald."

The Old Man will most definitely be lauded and held up on pedestals of all kinds this week.  I usually don't enjoy that.  As a friend told me a few years back, it makes him embarrassed for Favre, who could so easily loft 6 interceptions as a response to the attention.  Better to have the man on an even keel.

This week, I'm fine with the blubbering.

By the way.  Looking for tickets?  You may have noticed that someone actually decided to sponsor the Fontenot, but for the sake of keeping our, ah, journalistic integrity intact, here's another answer.  All you gotta do is choose your drinking spots carefully, my friends.