Oh, The Places We've Gone

So last night the NFL Network aired the 2003 NFC Wildcard: Green Bay Packers vs. Seattle Seahawks. Yes, the “We want the ball and we’re gonna score,” and the “No quarterback’s gonna catch Al Harris,” said Al Harris after the game game.

I watched it.

Something is wrong with me, admittedly, on a large scale, but my rationale behind spending three hours re-watching an old playoff victory—the last playoff victory, actually—was complex, deeply neurotic, and totally justifiable. Here are a few thoughts about that 2003 team, which was, according to a bitter Mike McKenzie a few years later, “superbowl caliber.” My overall impression was that watching the ’03 Packers is a little like reminiscing about college: cascading memories of  wispy, beautiful, paradisiacal events that are basically invented. Then someone shows you a picture and the truth comes back: you see that you were actually dormant and boring and you smoked WAY too much weed.

1. That defense is difficult to watch. How they got to where they got, it’s hard to say, but it wasn’t beautiful, whatever it was. You can see Kampman already playing out of his mind, but other than that, the D-Line is mediocre.  Little Boy Hasselbeck just eats away at the linebackers. Barnett, in his rookie season, almost single-handedly gives the  game away with a defensive holding penalty near the end of regulation, after which the Seahawks rumble in for a touchdown to tie the game. Earlier on the same drive, there’s a particular play in which Bobby Engram gets free, down the middle, for a 30-yard play. Barnett is a little behind him and doesn’t bother to turn as the pass comes down. This is in the 4^th quarter, the game on the line. Rather reminiscent of another play. The One That Shall Not Be Spoken Out Loud.

2. Favre had 32 TD passes and Green had 20 total touchdowns that season. 52, if you ignore the crossover in the passes Green caught. That’s disgusting. If you have two people on your team accounting for 52 touchdowns, your offense is in pretty good shape. Incidentally, looking back   over the stats, I was surprised to see that no Packer receiver had more than 716 yards receiving that year (Walker). He had 9 TD catches, Driver had 2. That was back when Favre spent a couple years spreading the ball to everyone—I think Tommy Cronin had a catch that season, and he was dead.

3. Marques "English Major" Anderson,  surprisingly, plays a major role in that Al Harris touchdown in overtime. His blitz is what makes Hasselbeck have to float the ball at the wrong angle. I'd never noticed it before. Good job, Marques.

4. Chris Collinsworth is equally high on ecstasy in 2004 as he is in 2007. Right after the Seahawks stop Green on a 3^rd and 1, he says, “This offensive line is starting to assert itself.” Joe Buck is equally sharp, and I still wish I could speak like him and be  sassy like him.

5. Charmin looks wonderful with a new, tidy haircut. Seeing him pretend to be mad after Green fails to pound the ball in at the goal line is a pleasant stroll down the memory lane of stilted, invented emotions and outbursts that defined his tenure as head coach.

6. For awhile I thought the Packers were going to lose.

In summary, it was great, again, to see Holmgren folded over on the sidelines, unable to watch as Hasselbeck takes the wrong angle and then flings his impotent, flabby body toward an accelerating Al Harris.  This is all partly a form of self-abuse, of course. (Not partly.) 

Relative to today, though, it’s worrisome. Here was a playoff team with a weak defense that was nevertheless pretty solid because of its unbelievable offense. I look at the team now: where  are the points? Fever plays great when he’s got an 1,800 yard rusher on the team. He had a grand total of 471 attempts that season, as opposed to 613 last year. He threw 32 TDs that year and 18 last year. Hello? Isn’t it obvious what we need? 

We need to bring back  Tony Fisher.

It is to me, anyway.